i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize