i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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