It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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