i barfeds in our rink
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
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It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
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We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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