Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
