strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
