just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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