It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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