im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
