Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
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