So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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