Do you still have your period?
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
