We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
