If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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