Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize