Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
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