i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
