So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
The power of my boobs compel you
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Randomize
