He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
You did what with his pubic hair?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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