You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
