brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
She's the barista slut.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
