Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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