No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
