I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Randomize
