i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Randomize
