we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
