i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
