Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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