Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
