Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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