hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
