Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
