I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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