I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
