kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Randomize
