guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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