Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
