I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
