dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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