Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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