From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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