i think my mom watched the whole time
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
