You're completely useless in the revolution.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Randomize
