While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize