I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Randomize
