Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
