I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
