ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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