Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
