Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Randomize
