Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
