My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Randomize
