On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
