kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
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i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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