I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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