I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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