how can u be prego again
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
