I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
