New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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