I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
