we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
