is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
only you would photoshop your dick
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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