and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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