in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
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