Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
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