I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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