I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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