Do you still have your period?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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